Thanksgiving is tomorrow! (Not a vegan as fuck recipe)


A week ago we celebrated Thanksgiving here with my mom, siblings, nieces and nephews. It’s a chore to get us all together at once, with work schedules, kids schedules, and normal every day happenings, but my older sister found a date that worked for us all.

My task was to bake the bird and I didn’t want just any bird I wanted the absolute best.

I used parts of three different recippes and the bird was my best yet.

I remember how intimidating it was to me the first time I was in charge of the turkey and thought I would share this recipe with you all.


Drunken Turkey 2016

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

Line your turkey size roasting pan with aluminum foil for easier cleanup (I didn’t and it wasn’t bad at all)

Remove the turkey giblets and yucky’s from  the inside of that beautiful bird.

(The part that may look like… well you know… it’s not, toss it. It’s nasty)

Rinse that bird off and pat it dry.

(I use paper towels and no it’s not environmentally friendly, but salmonella isn’t either okay? Okay.)

For the dry rub you’ll need

1-Tbs. lemon pepper

1-Tbs sea salt

2-Tbs. dried parsley

2-Tbs. dried sage

2-Tbs.- ground dried rosemary

2-Tbs.- dried thyme leaves

For the inside of the turkey you’ll need

2- Stalks of celery

1- medium orange cut in wedges

1- medium chopped onion

2- chopped carrots

Additional needs

1 bottle of champagne

(I used Goose Watch Golden Spumante from a local vineyard here in the Finger lakes, delicious)

1- 14 ounce can of chicken broth


Mix ingredients of the dry rub together in a small bowl and then rub it all over that bird.

Chop up the carrots and onion, wedge the oranges and leave the celery stalks whole. Now shove it all up inside that bird.

(It’s okay don’t be shy)

Now pop the champagne in a safe environment, (I nearly lost an eye), pour a glass for yourself and then pour some of  it over the turkey and some inside. Next pour the broth on top of the turkey.

Tent aluminum foil over your beautiful bird, place it in the preheated oven and cook for about 3 hours covered and then 30 minutes uncovered. (I would use the suggested bake time on the package. My recipe us for a 15-20 lb turkey)

I only basted three times, use your best judgement.

When it’s all done, take it out, cover it with aluminum foil for about fifteen minutes to allow it to rest, and then carve.

Note- If you make your gravy from the juices…. Best gravy ever.





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