
Brand new series of standalone novelsย
FOREVER STEEL
Meet
(novella)
Capitolo Primo
Atop a bed of chocolate silk, I lie completely naked and spread, waiting โฆ just waiting.
The French doors to the balcony overlooking the ocean are open, a breeze blowing the sheer, champagne colored curtains hanging from them. My nipples peak when the cool, midnight ocean breeze sweeps across my heated and wanton body.
I cup my breasts and tug gently on the diamonds adorning the ends of the piercings, sending a wave of pleasure down my body until it reaches my core. My pussy clenches as I stroke my fingertips down my body and cup myself, applying just enough pressure to intensify my need. I gently rub around my clit, causing more pressure and pleasure to build, to burn, to ready myself.
Sliding a finger into my center, I moan as I curve it up, hitting my sweet spot, while using the other hand to pinch my nipple harder.
Closing my eyes, I continue to build the desire as I wait for him. And when he appears, his milk chocolate eyes rake down my body as he removes his crisp, white, button down shirt, slowly revealing his exquisite body inch by inch to me. The black ink covering his hard, ripped body causes more fire to burn deep inside me.
When his shirt falls to the ground, he runs his hand over his thick black hair that has specks of silver near his temple. He ages like the finest of wines made from the grapes grown in the vineyards we once played in as children.
โYou couldnโt wait for me, Valentina?โ His voice is husky and oozes with desire, desire for me.
โIโve yet to come,โ I purr, allowing my legs to fall to the sides, giving him a better look at what I know causes his mouth to water, showing him what he yearns to taste, to touch. Displaying what once was his and still is.
He unhurriedly unbuckles the black Italian leather belt around his trim waist, letting it hang open as he slowly works his button and zipper with his thick, long fingers. He then pulls his belt out inch by glorious inch, one loop at a time, as he watches me rub my soaked slit.
โMy pussy is more beautiful now than I remember when I โฆโ he sighs, not saying it. He never says it.
He pushes his thumbs slowly under the waistband of his undone slacks, providing me a glimpse of the deep-cut muscles that form a V.
I lick my lips, wetting them, preparing them for him.
My love.
He pushes his slacks down slightly, just enough to tease and torment me, exposing the thick root of his cock.
My insides clench. I want so badly to ease the burn.
โWait for me, Valentina,โ he whispers as I watch him push his pants farther down.
He is beautiful.
His cock is growing thicker before my eyes.
He pushes his slacks farther down.
I know his cock like it is a part of me. I know how much is still covered.
โYou want my cock.โ Itโs not a question. Itโs a statement. He knows it.
Yet, I still tell him, โYes.โ
He pushes his pants down fully now and stands up.
He is the only man I have been with whose cock doesnโt stand erect. It canโt. His thick, heavy cock hangs between his legs perfectly, resting against tight, large, magnificent balls.
I inhale the salty scent of the sea air, willing him closer so I can smell his manly scent over it.
He grips his cock, swiping his thumb across the broad head. Then he lifts it up and rubs his forefinger against his thumb, spreading the pre-cum between them as he walks closer to me.
โWould you like to taste my cum, Valentina?โ
I nod.
Walking closer to my naked body, flames burn behind his eyes. Flames that havenโt lost their heat, their luster, their desire for me.
โMove closer to the end of the bed. I want your beautiful hair falling off its edge while you look up at me as I feed you.โ
I turn my body, letting my head hang over the edge of the bed as I look up at him. โFeed me โฆโ
I hear the whispers. Whispers then the giggles.
My loves.
I roll to my side, wishing for just ten more minutes of sleep as the bed dips behind then in front of me.
โFeed us! Feed usยญยญยญยญ!โ
The giggling begins, and then the jumping.
I open my eyes to my reality and try to sit up while my girls, my wild ones, jump on my bed, demanding to be fed.
I grab them both, one in each arm, and pull them down onto the mattress before tickling them.
โWhat would you like this morning?โ
โPancakes!โ
โGo brush your teeth and give me ten minutes.โ
I get a kiss on each cheek before they scramble off the bed and run for the door.
~~~
Standing under the water in the two-person shower, I let myself remember what I was โฆ before them.
Trouble is said to come in threes, but not in my life. It has always come in twos. Like when my parents died in a double-engine aircraft, on the secondof February, leaving behind twochildrenโme and my brother Dominic. And in my life, I thought I had loved twomen. One was no such thing. He was a liar, a manipulative snake who groomed me from the time I was my daughtersโ ages to believe he was my savior. The other was in fact my savior. He was my love in the purest and truest form. Until he betrayed me.
Now I am without a lover, except in my dreams, every night, the same one as last night.
My true love used to fuck women, twowomen at a time. In his belief, those women wanted each other more than they wanted him. Therefore, he was free from the responsibility and burdens that caring for a heart held. He did not want to cause anyoneโs heart to break.
Twoweeks after he betrayed me, I found out I was pregnant. Twoweeks after that, I found out I was pregnant with twins.
Two.
My beautiful girls, Francesca and Antoinette, were born on April fourth. Doubletrouble. And they certainly are.
My identical twins are mischievous, little beauties. Some days, they try tricking me into believing they are the other. Last night, it was during teeth brushing. Antoinette, or Toinette as we call her, brushed her teeth twice. As exhausted as I was, it almost went unnoticed. But having grown up with an overprotective brother and a bodyguard turned lover as my biggest role models, coupled with what I have been through in my life, I notice things. And this, I noticed immediately.
Toinette is the quieter of the two. She likes softer colors. The pale pink paint on her toes as opposed to Francesca, or Cescaโs, plum was a dead giveaway that landed them both in trouble.
After breakfast, I braid their long, black hair and make sure their uniforms are properly pressed before I take them to school and drop them off. My daughters attend a private Catholic school where they learn about religion, as I believe itโs important to have that foundation because, without it, what is there to hope for aside from material things?
I want my girls to be strong like me. I want them to hold their values and beliefs so tightly it becomes an extension of who they are, like their father. I want them to know right from wrong, regardless of what life shows them. I want them to be a perfect part of two peopleโme and himโonly different.
After dropping the girls off, I hit my morning yoga class before heading home to work.
In my office, I smile as I look up at the sign my aunt Joe gave me when I took my old lifestyle and fused it into my current one. I was once a half-assed student who lost my dream of working with animals when the animal Benito ruined me. What I became great at is partying and posting on social media. People loved it. Then I went from a socialite to a single mom, and they apparently liked that just as much.
I began getting products mailed to me from baby companies to review and promote after posting monthly pictures of my fast-growing belly. I stuck my nose up at most of the products, and Aunt Joe found them in the garbage. She talked me into giving away what I didnโt like. Overnight, my social media likes blew up. Then I began getting two of each product sent to me; one to keep and one to giveaway. I also started getting checks and direct payments into my account for doing so. My popularity grew, and so did an income I didnโt really need but appreciate.
So now, while my girls are at school, I do video tutorials and post random things about my day and my girls.
Still blows my mind that I get paid for this.
~~~
Sighing, I lean against the doorframe of their shared room. One side is painted pink, the other plum. Even if color didnโt separate it, you would be able to tell which side belonged to which girl. I thought they would have grown out of wanting to share a room, but they havenโt.
I watch them sleep, like the beautiful angels they are. Beautiful, protected angels who I will make sure no one ever ruinsever.
I glance at the windows and see they are locked, but I already know they are. We checked them together, all three of us. No one will sneak in here and put thoughts in their heads they shouldnโt have.
The nightlight is glowing a soft yellow, so when they wake in the night, they will see no one is standing at the end of their bed, watching them. Plus, the security system that was installed by my cousin Cyrus is said to be unbreakable. I have tested that theory โฆ several times.
Every night, every single night for all these years, I have slept like shit because the man who was there, even when he wasnโt visible, who always protected me, is now gone. Heโs gone when he should be protecting what our love created.
I hate him for it.
Pushing myself off the doorjamb, I sigh as I pull my hair up into a messy ponytail and slide the elastic band from my wrist to tie it. Then I walk into their room one last time to kiss their foreheads and glance around before walking out the door, locking it behind me, knowing they are safe, sleeping, and protected by me, their mother.
Walking down the stairs, I see the picture of him proudly displayed on the same walls that pictures of our girls hang. He may have betrayed me, them, us, but I would never let them know I felt that way. I want them to know that the man who was their father was good and strong, and would have loved them had he not been killed the night he slayed the dragon.
Walking into my room, I move past the bed, open the doors to the balcony, and look up at the stars. Using my finger, I outline the constellation of Orion as he shines down over us, reminding me of Franco.
~~~
Nine Years Agoโฆ
Waking to the empty bed, I stretch and take in the scent of him, of me, of us, of passion and sex and lust and want and need.
My body is sore, deliciously so. My insides ache, not only from the all-night love making session we shared, but the need for him to fill me again.
Hearing the water in the bathroom running, I force myself out of the bed and make my way into the bathroom. The glass shower door is fogged over, as is the mirror. I open the door to find it empty.
โFranco.โ I laugh as I yell out his name, knowing he has done this to toy with me, because I tricked him in the same way.
I grab the white terrycloth hotel robe and wrap it over my body as I walk out of the bedroom and into the suite.
Seeing Aunt Joe at the table, with her husband Thomas standing beside her with his hand on her shoulder, I look around.
โValentina, sit please.โ She pushes out the chair that is beside her.
I shake my head because, in her eyes, in her voice, in her unmistakable likeness to her mother, my grandmother, a memory is triggered. The memory of the day my parentsโ plane crashed.
Unlike Grandmother, she doesnโt insist, she stands as her eyes fill with tears.
I step back when she reaches toward me.
โDominic?โ I ask while retreating.
โHeโs on his way home from Italy to be with you,โ she says, taking another step toward me.
โThen who?โ I ask, knowing by the emptiness in the room and the one that is quickly filling my heart that the answer is Franco.
โHe was shot,โ she whispers, no longer allowing me to walk away as she grabs me and hugs me.
I sob, and so does she.
โHe killed Benito,โ she whispers repeatedly, as if to soothe me, but it doesnโt.
~~~
Today and nearly every day for the past nine years, I wish I had possessed the strength to kill him myself; kill Benito DeLuca, the man who made a desolate and worried little girl trust him by telling her that, when the rest of her family was gone, he would make sure she was all right, because Segrettis die, but DeLucas live forever. When no one else was there to ensure I was taken care of, he told me that he would, and that I would be his. Hearing that from a man after being sent away with the blessing from my everything, my brother Dominic, gave me hope โฆ until I found myself pregnant and he denied my calls.
When my private school contacted Grandmother, she made me promise to never mention it to Dominic, to protect him by keeping the secret that would ruin him, the family, the business, and what was left of my reputation. It wasnโt until then that I found out that was why Dominic wanted me gone, because he thought I would be safe from the danger he saw, the one I took refuge in because, at that time, I was too innocent to know men like Benito existed.
I hate him. I hate him for everything he did to me, to Francoโs sister, and to my girls; my beautiful girls who donโt know the man who slayed dragons for us allโtheir father, my one true and beautiful love.
Walking down the hallway, I kick off my shoes. My cousinsโ wives always comment on them. It starts with how beautiful they are, and then gradually becomes something along the lines of: how the hell do you wear them all day, every day? I wonder how the hell they donโt, but to each their own.
As I walk down the hall, I canโt help admiring our home. I was pregnant when I purchased the beach house. It wasnโt done without consideration of space, security, location, and privacy. In all honestly, I can thank Dominic, Aunt Joe, my cousins, and Vincent for making me truly consider all those things.
Without them, I have no idea what kind of mother I would have become.

Chapter One
What Doesnโt Kill You Makes You Stronger
Paige
I am standing in front of the mirror of the twentieth-floor bathroom at Fast Forward Inc., one of the top ten marketing companies in the New York City area. I chose this female-owned company from the list of possible internships based on how badass NYC was. Not to mention the fact a woman-owned company would surely be easier to advance in than one of the good old boyย firms.
Nine years later, I have yet to lead an account, but I have been involved in several large projects and have been praised for my work. I havenโt made senior executive โฆ
I scratch my head, thinking. In fact, only one female has, and rumor has it, she and the owner, Cheryl, are said to โlikeโ each other, even though theyโre both married.
I shake off the annoyance caused by the fact that equality in the workplace is still a damn joke. It is in fact who you know andย very possibly who you blow.
I flatten out my favorite Vera blazer then look myself over, reflecting on a conversation I had with Mom and Babiฤka a few years back before Babiฤkaโs dementia became obvious, and before the accident that left my mom with a brain injury, which causes her to speak much slower and move just as slow.
They both told me how proud they were of me. How impressed they were with how hard I work and still remain happy.
At the time, I wasnโt all that happy. I had just broken up with Richard, a man who I thought was a lot like my father. He wasnโt. I didnโt tell them that, either.
I make a good amount of money, and I earn every cent. I have great benefits and a retirement. I had a huge apartment in a trendy New York neighborhood, and yes, I still have three out of four of my best friends from the time I was in elementary school. My blessings. Still, I am annoyed as hell that I keep getting looked over for promotions.
Iโm sure today will be a game changer. Iโm sure I will finally be paid back for my loyalty, dedication, and the insane number of hours I put in, proving I will always work hard โฆ unlike all the others who have made senior executive and have proven far less.
I take a deep breath as I once again smooth out my black Vera blazer and force myself to smile at myself as I look down at my red Anouk pointy-toed Choos. I click my heels together for good luck then decide luck isnโt necessary when you have the power of Wang and Choo, partnered with my proven past record.
Walking down the marbled hall, my heels click against it. A cadence to a march I am sure will lead to a meeting where a file will be pushed across the elegant cherry wood conference table in front of me, with my very own campaign to head. The first step to Paige Arnesen: senior executive.
Sitting in the black leather chair, I look around, waiting for my co-workers and Cheryl Firsts, President and CEO, to start trickling in. Then I look down at my phone and see I am ten minutes early, per my norm. Itโs yet another way to ensure I impress upon everyone that I am highly dedicated to my job.
They all begin to trickle in. Johnson, Richards, Peters, Dickson, all appropriately named and all started after me. Dickson and Peters are easy to work with. They give appropriate acknowledgment to the members of their teams. Richards and Johnson are world class assholes. Both took full credit for a highly successful scotch campaign I worked extremely hard on.
When Cheryl walks in, I eye her arms to see how many files she has. Three, she has three. My odds are good, very good.
She sets them down on the table before sitting down herself.
โWeโve received four RFPs this week alone. Three weeks to proposal, and I want them all.โ She pushes a file toward Richards and Johnson. โThe two of you killed the Willowโs campaign. This account, Tarson vodka, is for the two of you. I expect you to nail it.โ
They nod and open the file. I expect them to look at me since Iโm the one who did all the damn work on Willow, but they donโt.
โNext is a fashion subscription box, Vavoom,โ she says, looking at us.
I hold my breath, knowing there is no doubt Iโll get it. It seems I am the only other woman here, besides Sandy, who has absolutely no fashion sense. None.
When she passes the file to Sandy, I feel the all-knowing burn in the throat. Instead of allowing it to creep up in the form of tears, though, I push it down. With it, hope descends like the fucking elevator I leave the twentieth floor in five, sometimes six days a week.
There has been no other campaign in the past nine years that I was better suited to run. Iโm a subscription box junky and a fashion-forward girl.
I keep my eyes trained on the table before me as I try to calm the humming in my ears that is no doubt my blood boiling.
โPaige?โ
I look up at the sound of my name to Sandy. โIโm sorry. Can you repeat that?โ
When Cheryl speaks I realize it was her and not Sandy.
โThis one is yours.โ She slides the file in front of me as they all get up and quickly exit the room.
โThank you so much for the opportunity,โ I call after her, jumping to my feet. โI promise you wonโt regret it.โ
A quick nod of her head and she is out the door.
Richards snickers. โNo better man for the job.โ
I refuse to let him ruin this moment for me.
In all my newfound confidence, I finally smart back at his latest sexist remark. โSometimes the better man is a woman.โ
โIn this case, youโre one hundred percent correct.โ Johnson chuckles as they walk out of the conference room.
Fuck them, I think as I grab my file and hold it against my chest, enjoying the very moment that my life has changed. All the long hours, hard work, going the extra mile every time has finally paid off. The funny thing is, I donโt care if it has paid off. I donโt even care if all those men are making more than I am because of work I did for them with sometimes not even a thank you. The days they left early to pick up their kids, to meet divorce lawyers, to meet mistresses, or take long vacations. The hours I stayed behind when they left as soon as they knew Cherylโs car had picked her up and she wouldnโt see them skate out instead of staying late to finish their work. I donโt care one bit.
I walk across the floor and stand in front of the window, looking down at the beautiful pandemonium that makes New York City, New York City. I dream about my next step-up in the climb up the corporate ladder, getting closer to my ultimate goalโto someday own my own marketing firm.
Today is the greatest day of my life. I want to send out invitations announcing my success like my friends do wedding and baby shower announcements. I want to throw a party like they did for their engagements. I want to buy a brand-new dress and brand-new Choos and go out wearing a sash that a bachelorette would wear at her party. But instead of it reading โBacheloretteโ in pink, I want it to say โWomen Executive/Warrior Princessโ, in lavender.
Iโm again flooded with emotions, yet I donโt push them down. I want to let them erupt with the full force of what I feel right this very moment.
Erupt โฆ
I look at my phone and decide that, although none of those things can actually happen without looking like a crazy woman and not the next woman of power, one thing can.
I hurry out of the conference room, smilingโno, beamingโas I hurry to my desk where I set my file on it then quickly walk around to Rachel, one of my cubicle neighbors.
She smiles wearily at me. Iโm not sure if itโs because she thinks I will change with this new responsibility, or better yet, new possibility.
I try to hide my excitement, but I feel the eruption boiling, so I hurriedly tell her, โI need to run home for half an hour. I have plenty of time on the books; it shouldnโt be a problem,โ I kick off my Choos then bend to pick them up. โIf anyone asksโโ
โNo need to explain.โ She looks past me and whispers, โTake all the time you need.โ
โYouโre a doll.โ I wink as I turn to rush back and grab my walking shoes. I may just run home to burn off some of this energy, or I may just kill my poor Ralph.
Stepping outside of my office building, I listen to the horns blow and the city streets bustling with movement and noise. Such a contrast to my southern hometown where everything moved slower. Even the breeze seemed to take its time there.
Having moved in with Ralph a month ago, I realize that the weariness of using the subway may never be something I have to overcome. Being so much closer to the office has its perks.
Celebratory morning orgasms will soon be added to the list of positives of dating a man ten years older, one who is definitely more mature than the fools I dated before. I admit I was apprehensive about walking away from my place, but his โฆ his is so much nicer. Still, it made me feel less independent at first, so Ralph suggested that, if I felt that way, I should purchase some new furniture pieces, drapes, art work, and make it mine. So, I did. I even surprised him with a new four poster bed, hoping that maybe he would venture outside the proverbial box and get a little kinky.
As I walk into the lobby of our building, the doorman nods but doesnโt get up. Someday soon, I hope to afford a place where the doorman wears a uniform, smiles, and doesnโt just nod but greets you like in the movies.
I ride the elevator to the thirteenth floor and step out, fishing for my keys as I hurry to the apartment. When I get to it, I check my phone, hoping Ralph hasnโt left for work yet. He normally doesnโt head to the firm until ten in the morningโperks of having your family name on the building, I suppose.
When I open the door to walk in and reach down to pull off my tennis shoes, I startle when I hear a woman gasp.
I look up into the eyes of a half-naked stranger, and then I see Ralph, who is just as bare, except โฆ
โOh, hell no, not my Choos!โ I yell at him, yes himโRalph.
Ralph is wearing my Jimmy Choos! The ones with the sparkles. The ones I havenโt yet had an occasion to wear myself.
As I lunge toward him, he jumps backward โฆ in six-inch stilettos and doesnโt even lose his balance, which renders me speechless and, honestly, a little impressed. I wouldโve been on my ass.
Holding out his hand to stop my advance, he uses the other to pull off hisโmy โฆ
โMy fucking shoes!โ
Still unwavering while balancing on one foot, he quickly removes the first then the second.
โPaige, I can explain,โ he says as the woman who is still half dressed, the one I would have torn after had it not been for my fucking shoes, with arms full of clothing, runs out the door.
โCall me,โ she says right before the door slams shut.
It is only when my Choos are in my hand that I notice he is also wearing my lacey black panties.
I glare at him, and he takes another step back.
โLet me explain,โ he starts.
The look on his face is pitiful. That, along with the fact that he is wearing my underwear, somehow makes me laugh. I throw my head back and laugh even harder. I laugh like my dad.
God, I miss my dad.
When Iโm laughing so hard that Iโm in tears, my belly aching, he looks like he may cry โฆ still in my underwear.
I wipe my eyes, telling him, โYouโre not the right man for me.โ Iโm so tempted to use words to reduce him into a blithering pile of nothing, or nail him in his forehead with a heel, or two, but I donโt.
โYou know I love you, Paige,โ he begins. โI support you in your dreams and ambitions, as farfetched as they are, so I would expect you to give me a few moments to explain and see thatโโ
โFarfetched dreams?โ My voice squeaks.
โYes, the dream of becoming more than you are capableโโ
โSays the man with his dick tucked God only knows where, wearing womenโs underwear and my shoes!โ I snap.
He sighs and shakes his head. โI knew you werenโt as progressive asโโ
โYou listen here, Ralph,โ I say his name, allowing all the bitterness inside me to surround it as I walk around him toward the bedroom. โMy dreams have come true. I was given my own campaign today.โ
I stop when I see our bedโmyfucking bedโand all kinds of things on it ย that shock me. Dildos, handcuffs, clamps, rope โฆ
โRestraints on myย fucking bed?โ I yell as I turn toward him.
โDarling, I know what youโre thinking. I want you to calm down andโโ
โShut up, Ralph!โ
He gasps at the harsh words.
I walk into the closet and pull out two large suitcases, both I bought last year when I was supposed to go to Italy to visit Laney with Valentina but was asked to stay in New York to help with a campaign. I toss it on the floor and open it, throwing all my shoes inside. I donโt want that bastard to put his feet in them. Hell, I should leave them here, because he probably already has, and I would if they werenโt Jimmy Choos and Christian Louboutins, all eight pairs, one for each year I have been employed at FF.
Next, I toss in my hand bagsโeight as wellโand then I grab as many clothes off the closet rack as I possibly can and shove them inside one of the suitcases.
โPaige,โ Ralph says quietly. โWhere are you going to take all that?โ
โMy shoes? My bags?โ I snap. โAnywhere you canโt play dress up with them.โ
โI wouldโve never cheated on you if I thought you could handle this side of me.โ
โI would never had moved in with you had I known this side of you,โ I tell him.
โWell then, you, too, have deceived me.โ
Oh, my God, this man is insane. At least the other threeโyes, threeโthis year didnโt try to fuck with my head. They just crushed my heart and self-esteem.
โSays the manโand I use that term very looselyโwho thinks heโs a lesbian.โ
โThis coming from a woman who wants power so much, yet she lets others walk all over her.โ
โSave it, Ralph,โ I snarl as I pull up the handle and stand the first bag up.
โWhere are you going?โ
โWork, Ralph.โ I turn and finally face him. Now he has on a pair of pajama pants, though Iโm sure my lacy panties are under them. I look up at him and puff out my chest. โEven you canโt ruin today for me.โ
โWeโll talk when you get home, darling.โ Ralph sighs. โWe can work this out.โ
โYou can fuck right off,โ I snap.
One minute, Iโm laughing; the next, angry; the next, disgusted; and now, right this very moment, Iโm starting to feel numb. I suppose thatโs what happens when you are on the highest of highs then the lowest of lowsโyou become numb.
No, no, no, no. I am happy! Today is a good day, dammit. Even Ralph and his affair canโt ruin it for me.
I need to get back to work, dive into my campaign.
โI amย a strong woman. And you, youโre a manipulative, slimy โฆ pig.โ
I look at him, feeling like I may throw up. Again, I refuse to allow it. I need to get the hell out of here.
โIโll get the rest later,โ I say as I wheel one of my cases past him.
โWe can work this out,โ he calls after me.
โThe hell we can,โ I hiss as I walk out the door.
Wheeling the damn bag down Seventh Avenue toward 53rdstreet, my cream Goyard spinning suitcase becomes more difficult to navigate. Several times, it gets stuck going over the sewer grates and nearly pulls my arm out of its socket. I sputter obscenities at it while people seem to be staring. And you know what? I donโt give a damn.
I pass the HOPE sign, one which I look at as some look toward the cross, as a symbol of hope, and I force myself to smile.
Take the good with the bad, Babiฤka would say. Because the good is my job, which I have technically been in a nine-year relationship with. My cross-dressing, kink-freak boyfriend of four months, heโs the bad. I will no longer be taking him.
God, I miss them.
Trpฤlivost rลฏลพe pลinรกลกรญโฆ Patience does in fact bring roses.
All those times I begged to pick the roses and got annoyed when he told me to be patient, I never understood. Now I long to tell Dฤdeฤekhe was right. That sticking it out with FF has paid off. The flower has bloomed. I try to imagine what he would say about Ralph when it hits me โฆ
I rushed into yet another relationship. I didnโt give it time to bloom. Hell, I didnโt even know what kindย of flower he was โฆ clearly.
Trpฤlivost rลฏลพe pลinรกลกรญ, I think as I look to the sliver of sky visible through the skyscrapers and whisper a thank you to Dฤdeฤekin heaven.
Getting off the elevator minutes later, I look around and smile at my co-workers as I drag my suitcase behind me. I get plenty of peculiar looksโdeserving, I supposeโbut I decide to ignore them. What else can you do?
I spot the file on my desk as I try to push the suitcase under it, which doesnโt fit so I have to shove it into the corner, and realize I never even looked inside the file to see exactly what it is Iโm supposed to be marketing.
I stare at it like I used to look at gifts under the Christmas tree, wanting so badly to tear it open and see what await me, yet I also want to savor this time, this memory. Plus, the more I focus on it, the less I focus on the picture of Ralph that is so clear in my mind of him sporting my undies and Choos.
I also note that I am uncharacteristically calm after just finding out I was cheated on โฆ in the weirdest way possible. Knowing itโs because of the file, I allow myself to savor it.
I hear the whispers and chuckles of those around me, but I ignore them. Then, when I feel that enough time has passed, I open the file and see the logo for my project. Itโs a very pale pink, not all too catchy, and then I read beneath it:ย Spring Freshโฆ douche.
I look out of the corner of my eye when I see someone looming over the cubicle wall. They all look the sameโthe men here at FF โฆ like Ralph, nix the Choos. They are all under six-foot-tall, heads topped with salt and pepper hair with a receding hairline. Their insignificant features make them all blend together, unlike my friendโs husbands, and all the men surrounding them.
I look up and see Johnson. His beady brown eyes mock me as he says, โBest man for the job.โ
โWhat exactly is that supposed to mean?โ I ask calmly.
He leans in farther and whispers, โIt was a gift.โ
โExcuse me?โ
โThis account was a gift,โ he repeats.
โIโve earned it,โ I tell him.
โYou may be smart, you may know what youโre doing, but you lack the confidence to be in charge of anything more than ย douche.โ
I abruptly stand. โI donโt know who you think you are, but just like the Willow campaign, Iโll help you out.โ
โPaige,โ Rachel whispers, clearly trying to stop me from continuing, but I have had enough.
โLook around, Johnson. Look at all the people who helped you become a senior marketing executive. Now close your tiny, little rat-like brown eyes and envision where youโd be if you didnโt have them all to make yourself look good.โ
โPaige.โ Rachel doesnโt whisper this time. Sheโs clearly attempting to shut me up, but I wonโt. I deserve to tell him about himself, and not just for me, for all of us.
โThe truth is, youโd be sorting mail on the fourth floor because you lack any insight as to what any person in the world is looking for because you canโt see beyond your ginormous fucking ego.โ
His jaw drops.
My spirits rise, and then โฆ
โPaige, Iโd like to see you in my office. The rest of you, get to work.โ
I donโt even have to look back to see who it is. I know itโs Cheryl.
I glance at Rachel, who gives me a look of concern, and force a small smile, letting her know I appreciate her trying to get me to shut my mouth. Then I take a deep breath and turn to walk toward Cherylโs office at the end of the hall, making sure to keep my head held high, exuding the confidence that RalphโI mean Johnsonโthinks I lack.
As I slow at her receptionistโs desk, the woman shakes her head as a few strands of hair pulled into a bun sways, giving me a silent tsk-tskย before nodding toward the open door. โSheโs expecting you.โ
โThank you, Janice.โ I regard her politely, even though she didnโt give me the same courtesy.
Once inside Cherylโs office, I turn to shut the door.
โThat wonโt be necessary.โ Cheryl stands up from her desk. โWhat just happened out there is unacceptable.โ
โWhatโs unacceptable is what that man said to me, and the way he treats myself and every other female in this firm, Cheryl.โ
โItโs Mrs. Firsts, Paige.โ
Every muscle in my body tenses as heat from embarrassment spreads through my body. I feel all five-foot-ten-inches of my height begin to lessen. Every ounce of strength, every bit of confidence gained from that one moment, from that file being passed to me, slowly begins to drain from my body.
I push it down again.
โMrs. Firsts, I apologize.โ
โHeโs right, Paige. You lack confidence.โ
โBut my workโโ
Cherylโs cool demeanor melts a bit. โI didnโt ask you here to discuss your work. This is because of what just went on in front of my employees.โ
I ask the obvious question, โWhy isnโt he in here, too? Heโs the one who made snide remarks to me.โ
โPaige, I thinkโโ
โHeโs the workplace bully. Harassment, is an understatement.โ
She freezes at the use of the word. God knows itโs because harassment has become a trend.
I canโt take it anymore. I feel like I am going to completely lose my shit any second now.
โCherylโโI step toward the doorโโI have yearsย of unused vacation time that Iโm going to ask to use.โ
She gasps. โHow much time?โ
I look back. โAll of it.โ
โYour campaign?โ
โGive it to Johnson,โ I say as I walk out the door.
Walking past Janice, I give her my sticky-sweet smile and make sure the southern twang in my voice is heard when I say, โBless your hearts. Every one of you.โ
Today is the day I quit dating, love, and yes, when my vacation time is up, she can take the job and shove it up her ass.
I quit!
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